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"What are you thinking about?" Hayden asked in a low voice.

"Oh…nothing. Sorry, you were saying?" I quickly replied after his voice pulled me back from my thoughts.

"I didn’t say anything. I was just watching your expression turn all sad and lonely," Hayden said with a small chuckle before his eyes narrowed at me.

I wonder what he saw. I wonder if he could see through me…

"Sorry…" I whispered.

"It’s nothing to apologize for. I’m the one asking you all these difficult questions. Did you recall some old memories?" Hayden asked, teasingly.

"Not really…" I mumbled in reply.

"While you were with him, did you realize anything strange about him?" Hayden asked as he kept his eyes on my face.

"Not really. He seemed very busy at times. He would go away on trips now and then, but I didn’t think that it was unusual. Ethan…he didn’t like his parents and would get depressed every time that he had to return home to see them," I replied.

Everything seemed ordinary and normal back then given that I didn’t know anything about his involvement with Silva. However, looking back, I realized that everything had to do with his involvement with his ’family business’.

"Hmm…I see…" Hayden said softly.

"I honestly didn’t know about his involvement with the mafia. He just told me that his family ran a business and that he had to go back to help his parents with that. Back then, I never suspected anything…" I continued.

"It’s normal, I guess. Not every girl would automatically suspect her boyfriend at university to be a mafia boss’s son," Hayden said with a nod of his head.

"Yeah…I guess…" I mumbled, while still wondering why Hayden was having this conversation with me.

Hayden was silent for a while as if digesting what I had told him so far. Finally, he turned to look at me again before asking me his last question.

"What happened when you two broke up?" Hayden asked.

"Ethan decided to dump me…" I said before pursing my lips together into a thin line.

"What happened?" he asked, persistently.

"I didn’t know this back then but the last time that Ethan came to see me, he finally told me what happened that night when we broke up," I said softly. This was the part that I didn’t want to recall.

"What do you mean?" Hayden asked and I knew that I more than had his attention.

"Ironically, it was raining just like the day that I first met him. It was late at night and Ethan didn’t come back. Of course, I was worried, and I waited up for him. When he came back…well…he was all wet and things happened…" I told my story before pausing when I got to the part where Ethan took me to bed.

"And?" Hayden prompted.

"He just changed his clothes into dry ones and then he told me bluntly that we should break up. He didn’t want to be with me anymore. That was that. It was a mess but, in the end, he just…disappeared. He left and I never saw him again until that day on the cruise with you…" I went on.

"Did you try to find him?" Hayden asked curiously.

"Of course, I did. I asked everywhere. I called his friends, well the ones I knew anyways, he didn’t seem to have many friends at university. The ones he had weren’t exactly close, but I called them anyways…" I said truthfully as I tried not to recall the pain and desperation from those days.

"You couldn’t find him…" Hayden surmised correctly.

"That’s right. I couldn’t find him. Worst, no one knew where he went. No one knew anything about him. The more I looked, the more I realized that I didn’t know much about him either. Just like that, it was like he just disappeared," I concluded.

"I see…" he mumbled.

Hayden was silent again and then he sighed as if what I had told him weighed more on his mind. I still didn’t know why he asked me those questions. I didn’t think that it would be harmful to tell him, though. It was all in the past anyways.

"What did he tell you when he came to see you?" Hayden continued to press me for answers.

I closed my eyes and sighed before giving him my answer. The truth of what Ethan told me was just so terrifyingly gruesome and tragic and even I didn’t want to repeat what he had told me.

"He told me that that night…he killed his own parents before coming back to see me. He came to break up with me because we couldn’t be together anymore. He had decided to take over Silva as the next boss…" I said in a broken voice before I had to stop.

I couldn’t say anymore. The truth made me feel slightly nauseous. Ethan’s face that day was still so clear in my mind, and I didn’t want to recall anymore.

"That’s enough for today…" Hayden said as he placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

I didn’t miss that he had just said ’for today’ which meant that there could be more of these sessions in the future? I hoped that I was wrong.

--To be continued…