YM778.TV Chapter 38: lucian
After storming out of his house earlier, he had immediately gone to a mobile shop, buying a new phone and SIM card just one more way to cut ties. "No more interruptions," Lucian thought at the time, feeling oddly satisfied. Yet the weight of his emotions hadn’t lifted. If anything, they had settled deeper, and now he sat, drowning in his sorrows, letting the alcohol numb everything.
Jimmy and Garry, his closest friends from both lives, had found him here. Even though it was early in the day, the three of them were already several drinks deep, not caring about the time or the stares from other customers.
"Let it all out, man," Garry had said, his voice low with concern. He and Jimmy had tried to stop Lucian after his third bottle, but once they saw how raw his sadness was, they let him keep going. They knew Lucian needed this. He needed to vent, to grieve, to finally unload all the hurt he’d been carrying for so long.
The two of them exchanged glances, silently agreeing that if this was how Lucian was going to heal, then so be it.
"I wasted so much time," Lucian mumbled, barely audible. "Chasing after someone who never wanted me. I was… I was so blind. He stared into the amber liquid in his glass like it held the answers he was searching for. His face twisted in a bitter smile, the memories flooding back years of rejection, humiliation, and unreturned affection.
Jimmy sighed, setting his glass down a little harder than intended. "Man, i’ve been telling you that for years. But, well, sometimes it takes time to see the truth for yourself." He gave Lucian a pitying look. "Better late than never, right?"
Garry, who had been quietly watching Lucian, leaned back in his seat, stretching his arms over his head. "You know we’ve got your back, no matter what," he said, trying to offer comfort. "I just wish you’d come to us sooner, instead of carrying all that pain alone."
Lucian leaned forward, elbows resting on the table, his head slightly downcast. "I just couldn’t," he admitted. "I didn’t know how to let go. I loved her, you know?" His voice cracked slightly, but he swallowed it down with another swig from his glass. "Loved her for so damn long that I forgot how to live for myself. I thought if I tried hard enough, she’d see me.
She’d love me back. But…" He trailed off, his shoulders slumping under the weight of his confession.
Jimmy and Garry stayed silent, knowing this was something Lucian needed to say. They had been by his side for years, watching him chase after someone who never gave him the time of day, and it hurt them to see him suffer. But Lucian had always been stubborn, always chasing after something just out of reach.
Lucian turned his gaze to the table, staring blankly at the half-empty bottle in front of him. "I’ve been an idiot," he muttered. "All that time... wasted." He leaned back in his seat, the alcohol making his movements sluggish. He ran a hand through his hair, messing it up even more. "I don’t even know who I am anymore.
Everything was about her. What do I do now?"
Garry reached out and patted his shoulder. "You live, man. You start living for yourself, not for someone who never saw your worth." He glanced at Jimmy, who nodded in agreement. "You’re more than just that guy who’s in love with Avey. You’ve got to remember that."
Lucian let out a hollow laugh, lifting his drink in a mock toast. "To living for myself," he said, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Whoever the hell that is."
The three of them sat in silence for a moment, the noise of the restaurant buzzing around them, but their corner felt isolated, as if they were in their own world. Garry and Jimmy could see the heaviness in Lucian’s eyes, the kind of weight that no amount of alcohol could really lift. But they were patient. They knew he would need time time to rebuild, time to heal.
Jimmy, looking over Lucian’s shoulder toward the entrance, noticed a few more patrons entering the restaurant. "You know," he said, turning his attention back to Lucian, "it’s funny. You’ve been through all this crap with Avey, but here we are, still standing, still drinking with you." He grinned, trying to lighten the mood. "If anything, at least you’ve got us. We’re your real ride-or-die."
Lucian chuckled softly, the warmth of their friendship finally cutting through the fog of sadness. "Yeah, I guess I do have that."
But as he lifted his glass to take another drink, something strange stirred inside him a sense of unease. His back was to the entrance of the restaurant, and though he couldn’t see the people coming and going, he could feel a sudden shift in the atmosphere. It was subtle, but there. Garry and Jimmy, sitting across from him, exchanged quick glances, their relaxed expressions hardening slightly.
Lucian paused, his hand still gripping the glass. "What? What is it?"
Jimmy’s eyes narrowed slightly as he glanced toward the entrance. "Probably nothing. Just thought I saw someone familiar."
Garry leaned in slightly, lowering his voice. "Keep drinking, man. We’re not here to deal with any drama today."
Lucian hesitated for a moment but nodded. "Yeah, no drama. Just drinks." He took another swig, forcing himself to ignore the nagging feeling in his gut. For now, it was just about letting go of the past, of Avey, and of all the pain he had carried for so long.
---
Avey stepped into the Black Butterfly restaurant with her heart pounding so violently she could feel it in her throat. Her hands trembled as she clutched her phone, having just received the information on Lucian’s whereabouts. It didn’t take much just a single call with her family’s connections, and within 15 minutes, she knew exactly where he was.
"He’s here," she whispered to herself, barely able to breathe.
Nothing else mattered. Not the party she had just abandoned, not the guests, not even the shame that threatened to engulf her. All that mattered now was Lucian. She had to see him, explain everything, beg for his forgiveness something, anything to make this right.
Avey’s steps were shaky as she entered the dimly lit restaurant, her eyes scanning frantically until they landed on him. Lucian sat at the farthest table with his back to her, facing his friends, Garry and Jimmy. The sight of him took her breath away his hunched posture, the way his head hung low, and the empty bottles scattered across the table, remnants of his attempt to drown his pain.
"What have I done?" Avey’s heart sank deeper as she saw the state he was in, each bottle of alcohol like a punch to her chest. She had known him for so long, had seen him at his best and worst, but never like this never this broken.
Her feet felt heavy as she approached the table. Each step was slower than the last, her mind racing with guilt, regret, and fear. "How did it come to this? Why didn’t I see it sooner?" The questions swirled in her head, making it hard to breathe, harder still to take the next step.
From across the table, Jimmy and Garry noticed her immediately. Their eyes burned with hostility, even hatred, as they exchanged glances. Garry’s fists clenched tightly under the table, his knuckles white. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, fighting the urge to stand up and confront her right then and there. "How dare she show up here?" he thought bitterly.
His eyes flicked between Avey and Lucian, who sat oblivious, lost in his own sorrow.
Jimmy wasn’t faring much better, his fingers twitching as he gripped the edge of the table. The two friends could barely contain their anger, knowing that Avey was the reason their best friend was sitting there, broken and drowning in alcohol.
But they said nothing. They didn’t want to alert Lucian just yet. They wanted him to confront her, to let her see the damage she had done through his own pain-filled eyes, not theirs. Jimmy and Garry had always known Lucian was too kind for his own good, always willing to hide his hurt. "Maybe now she’ll understand," Jimmy thought grimly.
Avey, feeling the tension in the air, knew that both Garry and Jimmy hated her presence. She could see the rage in their eyes, the way their bodies tensed at her approach. But she didn’t care. None of that mattered now. All she could focus on was Lucian, who was sitting there, still oblivious to her presence. Her eyes filled with tears as she took in the sight of him.
The once lively and passionate Lucian—her Lucian—was now slumped over, his clothes slightly disheveled, his body reeking of alcohol. His fingers gripped a glass loosely, as if it were the only thing tethering him to reality.
Her gaze dropped to the table, and the sight made her heart freeze. Five bottles—empty. "Did he drink all of that?" Avey felt her stomach churn. Her hand instinctively reached out toward him, trembling as she hesitated just behind his back. "What have I done to you?" Her thoughts screamed, guilt ripping through her like a violent storm.
Her hand hovered, barely an inch away from Lucian’s shoulder, but she couldn’t bring herself to touch him. She felt so far away from him now, even though she was right there. How could she ever bridge the distance she had created? How could she ever undo all the wrongs?
She tried to speak, but her voice caught in her throat. The scent of alcohol mixed with the sadness radiating off of him was suffocating. "Lucian..." she whispered under her breath, but it barely escaped her lips.
Lucian, in his drunken haze, was completely unaware of her presence. He was mumbling softly, barely able to hold himself up. "I’m done... I’m done chasing after dreams that don’t want me." His voice was thick with pain, and it sent a chill down Avey’s spine.
"Jimmy, Garry, I’m done, man," he slurred, lifting his glass shakily before setting it down with a thud. "No more of this... I’m not doing this anymore."
Avey’s heart shattered hearing those words. "He’s given up," she thought.it was real what aunt olivia said her knees felt week almost about to fell down