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160 Wednesday\'s session - Part 10

Wednesday, continued …

When Anna calmed down, Phillipa said "I always knew that he had been physically violent, but the first and hardest step is admitting it.While some people would say that knowing specifics is always important about each incident, my view is that it is not.Each incident adds to how you feel and has gotten us to the point where you are."

Phillipa paused and looked at the two people before her.She could read, how they felt, but knew that she needed to ask the next question."I need you both to be honest.How do you feel about what Anna as said, and what happened last night.I need this to formulate how we will go forward.Anna?"

Anna took a deep breath "I feel so ashamed.Not only that I allowed him to do everything to me that he did, but the fact that I lies and hid everything from my family and friends.I dismissed any of their concerns, telling them they were imagining things and that he was not abusive towards me.If they observed something, I dismissed it claiming it was from an accident, or claim that it was from our consensual s*xual activities.If anyone saw anything, I would laugh it off, and state they did not have to be worried"

Phillipa, looked at Anna, "Why did you feel ashamed?"

"I know better.I deal with domestic violence victims at work, helping them with their legal issues and to protect themselves.I ignored it, though in my own relationship and let it get me to the point that Lu Jinhu controlled my life and was able to place me in a position that I did nothing.I should have done something and gotten rid of him."

With that Anna burst out into tears, and Hou Yi again let her lean into his chest, rubbing her back and saying repeatedly "Sweetheart you are not to blame.He is.You are safe"

"Anna, Yi is right.You are not to blame, nor should you feel guilty.Lu Jinhu is at fault, and you know that.No one should abuse or manipulate a partner.Think about it, remember what you know from your work.You know the answers."

Everyone stayed quiet until Anna, again had started to calm down.She nodded in response to Phillipa\'s statements.

"Yi, given what Anna has said, how do you feel."

"Last night I was ready to hurt him physically for hurting Anna, but given what she has revealed I wish I had, despite knowing it achieves nothing.No one has the right to do to another what he has done.He has caused so much harm, but is oblivious to it.He has added to the in-relationship harm through what he did a fortnight ago outside the Civil Administration Bureau and the Key Plaza Hotel by last night."

"I feel guilty as I did not step in to stop him hurting her last night.I should have realised what they would do, given what they did at the Key Plaza Hotel and acted to make sure she was safe.Now that I know he used violence or the threat of them to control Anna, if he was here, I would …"By the end Hou Yi was extremely angry.

"Yi stop that.I know that you are angry, but we do not need you to finish that sentence."Interrupted Phillipa.

Anna, however heard the words from Hou Yi, and could not believe that he felt guilty."Yi, you have nothing to be guilty for.It is me."

"No Anna, I did not protect you.I know what the Lu family are like and I did nothing to shield you from him."

In a firm and determined voice, Phillipa interrupted."Stop trying to take the blame.You both are intelligent enough in this area to know that neither of you are to blame, but you are doing it.You know Lu Jinhu is to blame, as are his parents who enable and support his behaviour and allow him to use power over and above that what he happens."

Phillipa paused "Now, where we are going.The two of them need to be charged for last night, so you need to contact the police to make a report.To go forward Anna, you also need to contract Victorian Police, and report him for at least the broken arm, as there will be medical records.Tell them everything, and see what they can do.Neither of you can let him get away with it.It has to stop, as he will keep acting here as he believes he can act with impunity."

"Tomorrow, with you two I will work out the long term strategy, including bringing in a local psychologist I trust to establish the long term counselling timetable, so you can plan to move forward.When I am here I will be and additional resource, but you need the long-term stability of a local counselor rather than the short sharp hits I can give you."